Resources for Elder Mediation Service's Present and Future Clients

Free Gift

Upon completion of the first scheduled elder mediation session of least 2 hours, or the
equivalent, Elder Mediation Services will gift the elder or his/her caregiver with a choice of
one of the following books:

1. The Carebook-A Workbook for Caregiver Peace of Mind, by Joyce Beedle, R.N.,B.S.N.,
Nurse Consultant. "This is the book that will be there when you can’t: to help answer
questions, solve problems, and assist the people who are filling in for you to provide the
kind of informed compassionate care you do. By completing the worksheets in the various
sections of The Carebook, you build a personal biography of, and guide to your loved
one, the person whose needs you work so hard to meet. The Carebook contains seven
sections of worksheets that you fill in with the necessary information to assist in daily care:
Day-to-Day Tips, Highlights of Life, Journal, Medical Information, Legal/Financial Informa-
tion, Alternative Care Providers, and Resources."

2. Legal Issues for Older Adults, An Oregon Legal Information and Reference Guide,
published by the Oregon State Bar. “This 146-page handbook (formerly titled Senior Law
Handbook) is a comprehensive and understandable guide to legal issues important to
senior citizens. Topics covered in this reference manual include health care, wills, housing,
property management, age discrimination, and much more. Cross-references, glossaries
and resource lists are also provided. Information and resources provided in this
publication can help older adults determine if professional legal assistance is necessary.”

3. Planning for Your Family Tree-A Legal-Financial Planning Guide, prepared by the
Law Offices of Nay & Friedenberg “Legal/financial planning combines the usual goals of
estate planning with planning for incapacity and long term care needs."

Articles

Medford, Pat E. “What is Elder Mediation—and What’s In It for the Client and the
Attorney?” Elder Law Newsletter, Spring 2004. Click here for full article.

Elder Law Newsletter, Spring 2004, published by the Oregon State Bar’s Elder Law
Section; articles focus on the use of Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) in elder law from a
variety of perspectives.

Butterwick, Susan & Hommel, Penelope A.”Mediation: A Tool for Resolution of Adult
Guardianship Cases.” NAELA Quarterly, Fall 2001

Gentry, Deborah B. “Resolving Middle-Age Sibling Conflict Regarding Parent Care.”
Association for Conflict Resolution Newsletter, Summer 2001.

Hamilton, Jack A. & Seaman, Elizabeth. “Between Aging Parents and Adult Children.”
available at http://www.mediate.com/articles/generational.cfm

Larsen, Rikk and Trippe, Blair. “Tough Elder Decisions: The Mediation Option”
available at http://mediate.com/articles/larsenr3.cfm

More Books

Coping in New Territory-The Handbook For Children Of Aging Parents, by Suzanne
Roberts,2000, Cheltenham Press, Portland, OR. “Most of us have good coping skills. As
adults, we have learned to deal with marriage, divorce, children, stressful work situations,
illness, success, failure; all the things that “grown-ups” are supposed to know. What baffles
us is that our adult coping skills don’t work very well when we apply them to our families. We
find ourselves mired in old feelings, new guilt, and conflicts with siblings that have not
happened since childhood. We struggle to find new ways to communicate with people who
are now looking to us for guidance. Set a boundary with Mom? Share the load with Sis? I
can’t do that!! You can, but it has to be done with finesse and love. This golden rite of
passage can be viewed as a time to grow into our sense of self, as that self relates in a new
way to our parents and siblings.”

Counting on Kindness-The Dilemmas of Dependency, by Wendy Lustbader, 1991, The
Free Press, New York, NY 10020. " How does it really feel to make the transition from active
life too confinement? How can self-esteem and identity be preserved while physical
limitations are accommodated? While there have been several books offering advice about
physical and financial arrangements for family members caring for aging relatives or those
with chronic illness, few have discussed the feelings of those who are receiving care. Vividly
illustrated with true stories and quotations from both dependents and caregivers, Counting
on Kindness explores issues of power and dependency and shows how to regain a sense of
power and purpose while dependent on others.

Sensitively illuminating the interior world of dependency from both sides, Counting on
Kindness offers hope to those requiring help and to helpers alike as they seek to balance
their needs in practical and moral equilibrium."

Taking Care of Aging Family Members-A Practical Guide, by Wendy Lustbader & Nancy
R. Hooyman, 1994, The Free Press, New York, NY 10020 “Most books about aging are
targeted either to professionals or to families, artificially separating these audiences. This
book attempts to reflect the partnership between professionals and families that is a vital part
of successful care arrangements. Theory and practice are blended, with the goal of
suggesting solutions to care dilemmas that are clinically sound and applicable to everyday
life. Included in the text are practical tools, such as a medical bill accounting sheet, a guide
for delegating tasks among family members, a phone search guide for community resources,
and a checklist for comparing retirement homes. These are designed to be duplicated and
used by professionals, students, and family members……….Suggested resources at the end
of each chapter direct readers to relevant articles, books, and organizations.”

TRUCE! Using Elder Mediation to Resolve Conflict among Families, Seniors, and
Organizations, by Patricia Bertschler and Laurette Cocklin, 2004, NCS Publishing,
Independence, OH 44131. "TRUCE! is an important contribution for older adults, their
families, and caregivers. I encourage families to use this resource to discuss living
arrangements and needed services. They can set up plans in case incapacity becomes a
reality or provide necessary care for elderly with diminished capacity. Using Elder Mediation
to address tensions may avoid the feeling (or actuality) of exclusion of family members and
prevent abusive or neglectful behavior by overwhelmed caregivers.

Elder Mediation can add to the already lengthy list of families helped by mediation which has
proven effective in resolving disputes surrounding divorce, parenting arrangements, parent-
teen relationships, child welfare cases, and family businesses. Mediation puts decision
making back into the hands of those with the most information and who must live with the
results - the family. TRUCE! changes the "if only we had known about Elder Mediation" to
"We can work together to find a solution."